Disclaimer; Let's be honest I wouldn't be typing this if I owned CSI.

A/N: Still looking for a beta so if anyone reading this wants to beta my stuff PM me. I really should be writing a history essay at the moment, like really really, but fanfic is just so much more appealing. Thanks again to thegreatbluespoon for all the encouragement. For anyone else who wanted to know my birthday was great, drank way way way too much, but that is definitely a different story. Now enjoy and please please please review!!!!

Chapter Four

Sara finally reached home and having put the mail on the counter, she jumped in the shower. The refreshing warmth as the water cascaded over her relieved the stress of the day. Sara had always been a short shower kind of person, but being with Grissom meant long shower’s had benefits, not now though her short shower routine had returned.

Wrapped up in a towel she settled on the couch with a cup of coffee and the mail. There was your average mixture of junk mail and bills but one envelope sparked Sara’s curiosity, a Vegas post stamp and what Sara recognised as Cath’s handwriting. Having opened she found another envelope and a small note from Cath.

Sara,

Before you open the other envelope I wanted to fill you in on a few things. He fucked up Sara and he freely admits it. Not that I have read what’s inside the envelope, but give him some time Sara, even five minutes. I think he deserves it. If you do need to talk after please phone, if you can’t reach me you know who I am probably with.

Cath xx

Now Sara turned her attention to the second envelope. The post date was the day after she had left the lab. The day after I ran away. The distinctive scrawl had adorned many a card in the last year but instinct told her this was a more ominous greeting. Opening the letter she began to read.

My Darling Sara,

What have I done? Losing you is like losing my fight for life. All my life I have searched for you and when I finally found you I destroyed you. I loved you but I destroyed you. My indifference was my only instinct in defending my heart. I didn’t know how to deal with the love it felt. I thought by pushing you away I would save you the anguish of loving me, but my indifference seemed to only fuel your determination to be loved and to love me in return.

Sara I fell in love with you the first moment our eyes met. Then when I called you to help with the Holly Gribbs case I knew I couldn’t let you go back. Cath knew from the start, her intuition probably her best quality. Thanks to her persistence this last year has been the greatest in my memory. Stolen moments in my office to long leisurely hours spent in your arms. That was until I fucked up.

Sara I never meant to hurt you, if only you had let me explain. I really had intended to follow you home. Sara, look at yourself what man would be stupid enough not to? After I left my office though I heard someone crying in the locker-room I thought it was you or Cath, so I walked in. It was however Sofia crying. You’ve always told me I should look after my people so I offered to drive her home. Sara when I got her home I couldn’t leave her. Sara, her parents were killed in a traffic accident. Sara I should have called but she wouldn’t stop crying and she wouldn’t let go of my hand. I held her until she fell asleep. I swear to you Sara that’s all. I was stranded I couldn’t leave her. I thought you would understand. You didn’t give me time to explain.

Sara I love you, with all my heart, with all my body, with all my soul. Sara please come back Don’t leave me like this, please Sara don’t. I need you Sara I really need you.

Love Always,

Grissom xx

The tears rolled silently down Sara’s cheek. I made a mistake a big one. If only I hadn’t acted like a chid and ran away. It was too late now, he’d gone to Ireland, she to Washington. Too late for their relationship, too late for their love. Anger and frustration seethed through Sara’s veins.

“If only Sofia hadn’t arrived” she shouted to the empty room. If only I hadn’t jumped to conclusions. Too many maybes , too many “if onlies” one thing was for certain now Sara was gripped by too many regrets.

I am really sorry about Sofia being the reason, sorry sorry sorry!

TBC